Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
