Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
