My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
