Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
