There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
