so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
