He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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