were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
