paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
