i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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