I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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