# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
