Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
