Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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