i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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