ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
