just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I should be sponsored by Trojan
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
