do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
