Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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