i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
