who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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