absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
