yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
