there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
