You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
wow bdsm is so cute
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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