Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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