No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
