My room smells like vodka and shame
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
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