evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
