I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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