mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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