You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
