is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
