Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
