do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
