my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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