I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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