I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
