you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
