Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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