so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
