wrigley field is MILF paradise
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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