This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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