Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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