What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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