ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
