Betty ford says i'm here all night
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
