some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
