for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
