I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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