i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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